Poking Fun At Personal Ads :: essays research papers

To the SWF with a PhDBasically, Im a nervous person. Ill tell you now that Ive neer had a date, but I just know that we were meant to be. The things you look for, lithe build, knowledge of the Wicca religion, and the ability to differentiate between Van Gogh and Picasso get word me to a tee. I cant wait until our wedding day, which should be soon because Im nearly over two hills. Did I mention that Im a nervous person?Concerning the fall of your ad stating Slim build is a heavy(p) impression of a mans true character, well, I may not very fit that request. I agree that a slim build is enthralling however, I know of many fat people that have great personalities. Im not saying that Im fat, kind of stocky or big-b id. The problem is that I dont overcompensate my weight well. Actually, the truth is I look like a wildebeest covered in plaid and khaki. I have more pelt on my back than all eleven of your precious Persians. To top things off, I have an inexplicable odor that creep s out no occasion how much cologne I bath in.What I lack in the looks department, I certainly make up for by my knowledge of witchcraft. Ive realized something about you smart chicks you always have some passionate beliefs that are sure to be contested (womens suffrage, for example). Ive got this one though Ive seen every movie ever made concerning witchcraft Hocus Pocus, The Craft, and best of all, The Wizard of Oz. I have also memorized portions of Bewitched for our graduation exercise date. Can you really turn Samantha into a dog by wrinkling your nose? Ive always wondered that. As my hero, the Wicked Witch of the West would say, Ill get you my pretty, and your eleven Persians, too. I hope you also like a guy with a sense of humor.As for the differentiation between Picasso and Van Gogh, Ill be completely forward with you I have no steer who those people are. I ran upstairs and asked my mom who Picasso was and she told me that its the name of a cat-o-nine-tails I had when I w as five. If Van Gogh is another cats name, Picasso was cross-eyed, bob-tailed, and could never find the litter box. Ive done it. Ive successfully filled your requirements in a man.I feel that we have committed on some level.